You and your mother
Visualizing Your Mother and Her History Meditation
Imagine that your mother stands in front of you, a few steps away. Check inside. What sensations are you aware of? Now imagine that she takes three large steps and stands very close to you, within inches of your body. What physically happens inside you? Does your body open or does it contract or want to pull away? If your answer is that your body contracts or wants to pull away, it's important to realize that the work of opening is now your responsibility and not your mother's. Now let's widen the lens, and think of your mother again standing several steps away. This time, visualize her surrounded by all the traumatic events she experienced. Even if you don't know exactly what happened to her, you have a sense of her family history and how she might have struggled in her life. Take a moment to really feel what it must have been like for her.
• Close your eyes.
Recall all the stories from your mother's family history and let all the tragedies you know come to mind.
Visualize your mother as a young woman or a small child or even a small baby tightening against the waves of loss, trying to protect herself from the onslaught of pain.
What does your body feel as you sense what she might have felt? What are the sensations and where do they arise in your body?
Can you feel or imagine what it must have been like for her?
Does this touch you? Can you feel your compassion for her?
Tell her in your heart, "Mom, I understand." Even if you don't fully understand, say the words again. "Mom, I understand." Consider adding the words "Mom, I'll try to take in your love just as it is, without judging it or expecting it to be different."
How does it feel to say that?
What happens in your body when you tell her this?
Is there any place in your body that lets go, opens, or feels softer?
